I Have Been There…I Am Here…

I have been there and I know how it feels. Truth be said, I am not the first to have experienced it but I am not the last either. Choices have consequences but at times we are not even aware of the choice we are making; and so the consequences are unbearable. If it were up to me, no other girl would get pregnant in campus; I mean sex would be illegal. But it is not up to me, so I will take another approach.

You probably have seen girls get pregnant in campus, how they laugh about it, how boldly they give birth and show off their babies and all the face book status that are meant to prove a point; but what you don’t know is that all that is the tip of the iceberg. Maybe am speaking for myself but I think someone will agree with me. Behind the joy and the laughter there is a cloud of fear, behind the strength and boldness there is weakness and uncertainties. More often than I can remember I had sleepless nights wondering what my future would be like. I felt stuck, I thought I was moving but I was not. I was trying to fight what had already happened, I wanted to undo it but I just couldn’t. So I had to adjust. I had to find a way to try and accomplish what I have always wanted to accomplish; but I needed help.

Let’s talk about the help. I wanted to talk to a friend, my age mate; a person who would not have judged me. But I had none; they all left and occasionally came to say how sorry they were that I had a baby. Some came to congratulate me and say how proud they were but most of them left and very few stayed when I was unbecoming.

Dear friends,

 I know how confusing this can be because there are no right words to say to a person who is going through “life happened”. But there is something you can always do in silence and in secrete. PRAY, PRAY FOR THEM.

So I thought of a more mature person like my sweet aunt, but then I couldn’t express myself fully. I had no choice, I needed to keep it all in and find a way to deal with it. It killed me. Physically I was drained, emotionally I was angry and arrogant, spiritually I felt dead but on my face I was always smiling. No one deserves to go through what I went through or even worse and that is why I can’t let go of this idea that I have.

I would like to be a friend that will not judge or fake a smile. I would like to be called when you cannot sleep. I would like to discuss boyfriend issues with you. I would like to help you accept what you cannot undo. I would love to pray with you. Most importantly I would like you to help me help others take a better path to marriage and pregnancy.

If you are a campus mom, or u know someone who is,send them to this blog. We’re here to talk,and to listen.

-Bilha.

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